A Heavenly Gift

Wandering that comes from wondering is a heavenly gift.  What bothers me is that sometimes the desire for perfect understanding—“I’ve got to figure this out!”—eclipses the wondering and desire for Jesus himself, in whom is the deepest and purest and best of everything we most want.  We might even get a sort of "knowledge high" that can become a substitute for the satisfaction and love and freedom Jesus gives.  We can tell we’re under this delusion whenever we are truly not satisfied for a prolonged period of wandering—a week or so, is my experience. 

There’s nothing wrong with the desire for understanding that more knowledge offers, unless it remains bookish and prescriptive, and not related to truly knowing God and the astonishing formation of Christ in us.  That’s knowledge incomplete.  We’re cheated from awe and joy when that happens, because he is why we wonder and wander—it’s him we want—and he perfectly completes us.   He is the destination and fulfillment of wondering and wandering.  He knows it, and, happily, so do we.

Colossians 2:2 My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, 3 in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. 4 I tell you this so that no one may deceive you by fine-sounding arguments.