The Return of the Unicorns

Most people agree that God gives us children as a gift. You hear them say it and see them write it all the time. “Happy birthday, Babushka! You were the perfect gift from God to us ____ years ago!” But years later, whether 18, 20, 22 or 42, they are willing to say that God leads those same perfect and precious gifts away from them. “God has plans for our children. It’s normal, even godly for them to leave,” they’ll say. Well, THAT’S JUST WRONG. The GIFTS and callings of God are irrevocable—HE NEVER TAKES THEM BACK or puts them elsewhere! (See Romans 11:29)

So I think it would only be right to revisit this deceived willingness to let God’s gifts leave us, REPENT, and create new paradigms wherein our precious gifts remain with us. Okay, they can move across the street, maybe a block or two over, or just down the country road a couple hundred yards. With our permission.

THEN, God’s gift-giving plan will work as originally intended and we will reap His blessings: ever-flowing springs of gold-filtered water will bubble up and give rise to non-GMO food crops and organic, sustainably grown coffees that burst forth in the world’s deserts; gas-free cows will repopulate the earth; clouds of butterflies will cleanse the air in China and legally emigrate to the North Pole, where their bodies will feed the baby polar bears; certain people will stop tweeting, others their manic fault-finding; Fergie will get a do-over; FOX and CNN will merge into the WARHN network (We Actually Report Helpful News); and friendly, multicolored unicorns will once again flourish upon the earth and fulfill their divine design as crossing guards and school guardians.

Can I get a witness? Amen?