Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Families & Grace

I've recently re-read some chapters of a great book, "Families Where Grace Is In Place," by Jeff VanVonderen. I highly recommend it.

If you've yet to read it, ask for it at your local Christian bookstore, or you can go here to buy it online.

Here are a couple of quotes:

“If our sense of well-being and value come from the behavior of another person instead of God, we will always be giving off messages that say to others: You’d better perform right. The innate problem is that no human being is capable of performing well enough to establish anothers self-esteem—that person’s behavior will always fall short at some point. If the other person is not willing or able to change their behavior fast enough or in the ‘right way’ to meet our needs, most of us decide that their behavior is an issue we must do something about.” (Page 26)

“Most people who feel worn out in a relationship think they are tired because of the other person. ‘If he would just change,’ or ‘If she would only stop pressuring me, I wouldn’t be so tired.’ This is not true! You and I are the cause of our own tiredness, by trying to make changes in someone else that we do not have the power to make.” (Page 31)


  1. I left the comment "We can't change anyone but ourselves and the sooner we learn that the higher the quality of our lives" but I put it on the wrong posting. I am new at this stuff and I make a lot of errors. Good blog.

  2. James W12:05 AM


    I read this posting and thought wow! Then reading the author's name, I realized I shouldn't be suprised. I am glad that you have this blog, it does put things in perspective, seems when I need it the most. Good work!

  3. I love Jeff Vanvonderen's stuff. We just finished watching / studying the series "Wounded by Shame, Healed by Grace" in our home group.

    So good!