On The First Day of School

(Here in the Rockies it's the first day of school. I really don't like it. Not at all. My daughters are going to be out of the house way too much, and that means not only will I miss them, but they'll be virtually soaking in the contrary messages and manners of this world. It doesn't recognize them--it cannot--and they will be hurt. I post again a letter I wrote to my daughter over a year ago in the hope it will help you regain focus. Christians, no matter their age or experience, are not of this world. We must remember that and help each other prefer what God says is true of His sons and daughters--we're different and we're here for different reasons than those still of this world. - Ralph)

The following is a letter that I gave to my daughter, Emma. She read it alone this morning, and then sat on my lap while we read through it together. Emma is as alien in this world as I am, and is not at all spared from its’ attempt to deceive her into thinking she is far less than what God has made of her. It throws mud at her, so to speak, and it happens a lot at school. For once, she did poorly on a test and it really stunned her—she wept and cried, “I stink!” I share this with you in the hope it will assist you in your day-to-day life. This world is not worthy of you, but perhaps the image you have of yourself has been muddied. – Ralph


To my Emma:

You had a difficult day yesterday, and I wanted to write you a note about it.

I have two thoughts: I was sad—I hurt with you. I know what it feels like to be measured or challenged, and to not do well. It feels like somebody just pointed out that you’re dumb or not talented enough or not as good as you should be, and that’s painful.

But it’s a lie. And it’s a really bad lie, too.

Emma, my Beauty, God has made you spot-on perfect—just right. He has made you exactly the way He has planned for the life He has planned for you—no mistakes. You match up perfectly. However, neither the tests at school nor the tests of relationships or of sports will always show you how perfectly designed and made you are. Sometimes they will, but sometimes they won’t. Yesterday they didn’t. But nothing has really changed—you’re still just right. Ask God—He’ll tell you.

The lie the devil works with and wants us to believe, Emma, is that how we do in life is how we are—even who we are. So, if most everyone likes us and we get good grades and we do well in sports, well, then, we must be good. How wonderful. But if there are people who actually dislike us, if we occasionally get bad grades, and if we’re not good at every sport, well, then, we must be bad. But is that true? No. Neither example is true.

None of that stuff has anything to do with who we really are. But if the devil is successful in getting us to believe the lie that how we do reveals who we are, then we will live and strive to be good and do good in the eyes of people as our highest goal. That will make us slaves to what people think, and we’ll have to always perform just right for them. And that will prevent us from ever knowing who we really are according to God because we’ll be busy being somebody we think is good.

Satan’s lie will own us.

But not you. What God thinks about you is accurate. Remember what He thinks? You have become His daughter in the deepest sense—He has even made you like Himself. You feel His feelings, you have His thoughts, you know His desires. Incredible! You are a holy girl, a royal daughter of His—no one in this world is actually any better than you, Emma.

I know that you have confusing thoughts and experiences and feelings about who you are. Nuts! That happens a lot to me, too, and I don’t like it. But that’s why you and I go back to the Truth—and that’s Jesus. What He did for you and me on the cross, what He did for us in His resurrection, and what He did for you and me in choosing us(!) makes us incredible. No kidding!

So when we don’t do well in some sort of worldly test, it does not tell us who we are. We get who we are from God. Now, if you believe God made you to be a mathematician or a baseball player, there’s some work you can do. But you don’t do the work so you can become either of those things, you would do it because you believe that’s who you are and what you’re to do. If God convinces you that you’re going to be a rancher(!), then believe it and work at it with all your heart! And you can figure that baseball won’t be very important to a rancher. You might play at it, but you might not be the best at it. Would that matter? No. Not if God made you a rancher. Might people laugh at the way you throw a ball or swing a bat? Yeah, maybe. But that’s okay since you’re not a baseball player. See? You know God, and He tells you who you are.

My second thought: I was very proud of you yesterday—even more today. Here’s why: you went through something like what Jesus went through and you’re okay. When Jesus was nailed to the cross and then hung up for all to see, you know that He was dying for our sins. But something else was happening too, and it was awful—terrible. Jesus was being misidentified and rejected by a lot of people all around Him, people He really loved. Some of those people thought He was a deceiver, a liar, and others thought He was misguided or stupid to do what He was doing. “What an idiot!” they might have said. And yet He willingly did it for them, too.

Imagine the pressure Jesus must have faced from all those people. “Just tell us you’re not the Messiah, and we’ll let you go!” “We’ll stop hurting you if you’ll simply say you’re only a man, and not God!” “Think of your parents and the embarrassment and pain you’re putting them through—give up this foolishness!” But Jesus knew who He was. Because He did, He went willingly to the cross. He wanted to! He endured that pain because He knew who He was, and what would happen after the cross. Lots of people misidentified Him and pleaded with Him to be someone else, someone different, but He couldn’t do it because He knew.

He knew about you too, Emma.

Before either of us was born, He chose us, knowing that would mean that we would have incredible gifts and talents and thoughts and feelings and joys because we would be sons and daughters of God. And he knew that we would sometimes be terribly misidentified and mistreated. In fact, Jesus told us to figure that sometimes our life would be like being nailed to a cross and rejected, just as He was. Might as well expect it. If the world mistook and mistreated Jesus, it will do the same to us. Yesterday, it did it to you. I hope you can understand why—it’s not your fault—you’re being identified with Jesus.

I am your very pleased dad, Emma. I see you! I know who you are. It pains me but sort of reassures me when I see the world misidentify and then mistreat you. Even in that way, you really are a lot like Jesus. It angers me when I see the devil throwing his lie at you, and I want to beat him up. The best way for me to do that is to pray for you (and I do) and to tell you who you really already are so you can withstand the misidentification and mistreatment you will go through.

When I look at you I am proud of God! He has made you brilliantly and brilliant. You’re obviously His, even while you’re mine.

I’m yours, too.

Daddy

Ralph Recommends

Here's a link to a ministry I like—Andrew Wommack Ministries.

Among other resources, the ministry offers books, mp3 downloads, daily devotionals and more. Click here to check it out, or go to http://www.awmi.net/

I think you'll like it.

A Whole Lotta Clappin'

It has been awhile since I have posted a weekend funny, but here's one I think you will enjoy.

It's a short video of the world's fastest clapper, Ken French. I have never seen someone do anything like this, have you? Bet he could get a job sitting in the audience of sitcoms or late night television shows. Not much of a job, but a job nonetheless.

Have a great weekend.

Soon-To-Be Home

Well, I'm pretty tired. I've been on the road for some nineteen days now, and road weariness has definitely set in. But there's always coffee.

Fortunately, a couple of days ago I met up with my wife, Sarah, in Fresno, where I officiated a wedding of a longtime friend--it was entirely terrific. And is it ever wonderful to be with her. The only downside is that, seeing her, I'm strongly aware of how much I miss my girls. I think my most common emotion is longing.

However, it has been a wonderful and fruitful time. While I will write more about what went on at the camps and churches at which I have spoken, the response has been virtually everything I hoped for. I'm very thankful for those who have prayed for me--I could tell.

I'll be home in a couple of days. Hooray.

Love At The Start

“…In love (5) He predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—” (Ephesians 1:5)


Knowing what you must about the shortness of this life and the length of the one to come, which would you prefer:

1) you live a life worthy enough to get there, or

2) God lives a life worthy enough to get you there.

It amazes me and stretches my mind that God destined me to live under the terms of the second covenant and not the first. He could have purposed and planned for me to be born in Jeremiah’s day, when most of God’s people only flirted with Him…and discovered too late the results of their pretended relationship. Or, he could have brought me onto the stage during the happy days of the Judges, when the disobedient Israelites went in and out of captivity nine times at the hands of pagans. Nine times! Of course that means they were liberated from their captors nine times, and that must have been exciting. But I wonder at what point an Israelite or two might have thought, “It’s been a while since we’ve been conquered and abused. Think this freedom thing will last much longer?”

Or, God could have arranged for my birth not just in the days of Jonah, but as Jonah. I can imagine Jonah’s wife, now my wife saying, “Ralph? Honey? Are you home? Ralph, did you forget to take out the trash? What’s that fishy smell—it’s overpowering!” But, God being God, I’m sure he knew that the book of Ralph didn’t fit in very well with the books of Hosea, Joel, Amos, Obadiah, Ralph, Micah, Nahum and Habakkuk.

Can you hear that heavenly conversation? Let’s go with Jonah here, and put Ralph, mmm, later, a lot later. He’ll be a New Covenant baby.

Before making the planet God had already dreamed me up, chosen me and determined I would be His (Ephesians 1:4). And not just His as in the sense of a possession, but His as a much-loved son, now of Him, having been given the new creation grace of royalty. He wiped out my natural birth—made it as having never even happened—gave me a second birth, and thinks of me and treats me as if I was always one of His. In a sense, I always was.

And He liked dreaming and choosing and determining me! It gave Him pleasure. It wasn’t just God’s will, as in moving the pieces of a puzzle toward a satisfying fit, it pleased Him to do it. That’s how it is with all of His sons and daughters. Isn’t it great to think that you give Him pleasure? I can see a smile on His face as, on the day of my second birth, He says, “Ralph, you’ve always been mine, and now you’ll know. This is so fun—I love this part! Wake up now, Ralph! It’s time to receive.”

Can you imagine the smile that lit His face on the day of your new birth?

That’s the glory of the New Covenant. He didn’t make the binding agreement with me, determining our fellowship or relationship on the basis of my performance. He made it with Jesus, and gave me all of the benefits He earned. You wanna talk about a benefits package?

Goodness.

Next time you wonder if God loves you, or if His love ever wavers with you, remember how determined He was at the start.

Obedience For Dogs and Me

One of my daughters has a Nintendo DS. Yes, my wife and I actually gave it to her for Christmas. What evil thing does that say about us?! Hmm…

Anyway, she has this game where she gets and trains puppies, raising them from puppiness through adultness. To do it, she gives them behavioral commands like “Lie down!” and “Sit!” and “Roll over!” Sometimes the Nintendo dogs obey, and sometimes they don’t, which provokes my daughter to say it again—a little more strongly. It’s funny because not only does she speak with clarity and deep authority (well, at least it sounds pretty convincing for a girl her age), but our own dog, sitting next to her, carries out the commands. Well, some of the commands.

And I wondered, “If my daughter said those commands with an encouraging tone, a really upbeat inflection, would the dogs follow through and obey more readily or less?” And that got me thinking.

What if I thought of God’s commands to me as wonderful, life-securing and encouraging orders, instead of grumpy and foreboding demands? I mean, I know God is always correct and spot-on in His assessment of everything, so why does my fleshly mind attach a doom and gloom tone to His directions? Does the Spirit talk to me in the same manner as He would to, say, Pharaoh? Jezebel? Nebuchadnezzar? Or, how about the devil? Same?

If I was hanging out with Pharaoh one day and God showed up with something to say, would His commands to me sound the same as those to Pharaoh? Of course, I suppose we’d have to make certain exceptions for content. “Pharaoh, you brutal subjugator of my people, take out the trash...and then go to Sheol.” And, turning to me, “Ralph, you greatly favored, heaven-bound son of mine, take out the trash.” Would it all sound the same?

I don’t think so.

There are those who think obedience is the most important part of the Christian life—I’m not one of them. I think believing God is first. And while the obedience-is-king crowd might say, “Well, of course believing is first,” I don’t think they really mean it, especially because they often come across as stern and dour, obedience monitors among us. They major in it, and we’ve noticed.

I think the reason many of us fail to obey the New Testament oriented commands of God is because we think they come to us from a sort of high school principal—Do this, Ralph, and you won’t get into trouble. So, the only thing I believe at that moment is, “Well, I’d better do it, or I’ll get detention.” See what I mean? My belief is in avoiding the consequences of disobeying authority, not in the brilliance and well-intentioned motives of the trustworthy principal. Sounds like a dog’s life. To be certain, obedience is a vital, indispensable part of Christian life, but why we obey is, I believe, even more important.

So, today I’m doing what God says to do because it’s coming from my Father, who is perfect in love, perfect in knowledge and grace, and perfect in how He sees and treats me. I have a pretty good idea of what He did for me and to me through Christ, and I have a decent idea of what He thinks of me. It’s pretty fantastic.

He’s amazing, and He’s amazing toward me—I believe that, and I believe Him. Obedience comes from there.

Good News For Your Week

(Here's an example of something I receive each week--something I regularly read. If you're interested in receiving this once a week encouragements, please visit http://www.sourceministries.net)

GOOD NEWS FOR YOUR WEEK
TGIT! - Thank God It’s Tuesday!

THE WORD IS: I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ lives in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave Himself for me. Galatians 2:20

THE POINT IS: Many people are looking for the secret of success. Well, here we have it! In Galatians 2:20, the Apostle Paul gives us his personal testimony about the secret of true success. The secret is a person—Jesus Christ—by whom we can live life and experience true success. He is the Source of life, as well as the means by which we can live life successfully! Christ traded places with us. He took our place upon the cross by becoming one with us in death, in order that we might become one with Him in resurrection life. As a result, we are now seated with Him in Heavenly places—the spiritual realm of God’s presence and power—even while remaining here on this earth. This is the duality of true spirituality. We are in the world, yet no longer of it, by virtue of our union in Christ. Due to our co-crucifixion/resurrection with Christ, our family lineage has changed from Adam to Christ. We now have a new identity in Christ!

THE APPLICATION IS: The testimony of the Apostle Paul in Galatians 2:20 becomes true about you when you receive Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. At that moment you enter into your death and resurrection with Christ. His death becomes your death and His resurrection becomes your resurrection. You have been raised to walk in newness of life. So, why are many Christians still not walking consistently in this new life? Perhaps they don’t realize that Galatians 2:20 applies to them. How do you see yourself? Do you see yourself as the Apostle Paul saw himself? Well you should; here’s why.

- You are crucified with Christ—the cross. The old person you were in Adam has died. That person is dead and gone. It’s not you anymore.
- Nevertheless you are alive in Christ—the resurrection. Your old life in Adam has been replaced with a new life in Christ. You have been made alive in Christ, as an entirely new and different person.
- “Yet not I” means you are no longer the old person you were in Adam—the cross. That person died with Christ; therefore your old life in Adam no longer exists.
- Christ lives in you—the resurrection. Since you are in Christ, you have a new life source resident within you. You are indwelt by Jesus Christ Himself.
- “The life that I now live in the flesh” is a reference to the fact that life is for living now. Now you are able to truly live a successful life, even though you still remain in the same physical body. Your flesh, the physical body you live in, has not changed. But that’s not a problem, because what has changed is the Source of your living.
- You are now living, but not by your fleshly human strength and abilities. You are living by the life of Another. Christ has become your life! Your faith in Him, which is a constant reliance upon Him, will allow Him to live His life through you. And that’s the secret of true success!

The point is simple: Jesus Christ loved you so much that He gave His all for you when He gave His life upon the cross. The application is just as simple: you can reciprocate by giving your life totally and completely to Him, so that He can live His life through you. Now that’s successful living!

Have a great week, Lewis and Lue Gregory

A Good Look Behind

A while back I was driving on the freeway when my rearview mirror decided to commit suicide. In an instant, it leaped away from its secure and beneficial position, crashed on the dash and rolled onto the floor, there to lie in state. I couldn’t believe it.

Grief over the untimely and unnatural death of the mirror swept over me, and I became vividly aware of how instantly insecure I felt.

I couldn’t see behind.

Until replacing it about a week later, each time I drove somewhere I felt little security about what was before me because I had become insecure about what was behind. I drove around always on edge and with virtually no confidence. For a while I forced myself to drive without a look behind, but until I replaced the mirror, I never felt right.

I do that sometimes in life, as well, and it’s terribly dangerous because I don’t do good without a good look behind. My going forward first requires a look back at what has been done for me by Jesus. If I forget to take a look, or if I can’t see behind, I’ll be out of sorts wherever I go.

I must know and have settled in my heart the momentous occasion of my past crucifixion and resurrection with Christ Jesus. If I don’t, I’ll bash around in my day like a bumper car at Disneyland; fun for a while, but getting nowhere. When Jesus died, in Him the guy I used to be died, too. When Jesus rose from the dead, the new me did, too.

My look behind at what Jesus did for me and to me means I can go forward, knowing the truth about how to live and look at what’s ahead. And everything’s different. From then on I regard nothing and no one from a worldly viewpoint (2 Cor 5:16). Instead, I listen and look for the Spirit’s involvement with me and figure He knows about everything and everyone else. It’s then I’m led by the Spirit, which has become my new normal way to live. Knowing what’s gone on behind me allows me to look forward with confidence because I know that I’m really living. I need that! And it’s then I live for what’s eternally true, not for what’s temporarily before me.

In view of the past, I can see ahead--and it doesn’t look so bad from there.

Plunging The Potty

So I’m a servant. Hmm…

Through the years we’ve given that word a nice looking cloak to disguise its original meaning of “slave.”

Hmm. I’m starting to get that.

I’m usually pretty comfortable with the idea of being a servant. I’ve waited on people a lot over the years and done plenty of things that I could easily categorize as servant-like. And I’ve regularly been aware of being Jesus’ servant, as well, consciously offering myself to Him for whatever He would like to do or say. I pretty much get the whole servant thing. “Whatever your idea is, Jesus, I’m here for you.”

But slave?

I’m learning that I don’t have that one down. A toilet in my dad's home stopped up, with most all of the lovely little offerings you can imagine jostling for position. (A bit too graphic, I suspect.) Somehow my dad failed to notice. However, I figured he was laying a trap for me, so I didn’t say anything immediately. Finally, when I could take it no longer, I said, “Dad, your toilet is stopped up.” “Oh. Well,” he replied, “I’ll get the plunger.” And I’m thinking good idea, dad. Returning from his hunt, he had a glad expression on his face, and, handing it proudly to me, said, “Here you go.”

And that is one of many small snapshots of life these days with my dad. From handing me a roll of toilet paper (don’t worry, I’m done with that topic now) and telling me to take it upstairs, to telling me to clear the table and do the dishes, having me chauffeur him around town, fetch dinner, or clean up a mess, I’ve found the pleasure of being a servant severely challenged.

It’s probably about time.

I think of being a servant as an activity I choose, not one forced upon me. And that’s where the word has lost its meaning and intent—I’m wrong. So, I’ve done a bit of inner processing today, and sort of re-calibrated my thinking of why I’m taking care of my dad after my mother’s passing. No matter what my dad thinks is the reason for my being with him and serving him (it’s the family thing to do, I owe it to him, etc.), I’m doing it unto the Lord. That doesn’t mean I just work like a, well, slave, and make no complaint, it means that I am regularly thinking about Him and sowing to the Spirit as I work. As I do, I reap the benefit of life in Christ—the power of the Spirit shows up in me (Gal 6:8).

It might be that I strangely enjoy being ordered around like the son-slave dad always wanted, or, feeling the indignity of working over someone else’s potty (oops, I was supposed to be done with that), the Spirit makes me aware that He is with me, feeling everything I feel. And that makes plunging the potty worth it.

But you can forget about inviting me over to do it for you in your house. This slave has drawn the line…for now.

Fairly Good At Planning

This morning the Spirit has been sort of walking me through what He thinks of me. I always like that.

In the midst of my “tornado trust” experiences, I am His workmanship. I don’t have to become His workmanship, or try to make something of myself that I think would be best for the day or best for Him. He has made me what He has planned for, and my confidence is in Him.

I am what I am because of Him, and He’s happy with that.

I might as well be, too.

How about you? Do you think He’s been off the job with you? Failed to make you what He thinks is just right? Forgot to plan for you?

No chance. He never fails to do all for which He has planned. And He’s fairly good at planning.

Right?

Indian Food & God

Since moving to Colorado eight years ago, I’ve grudgingly accepted that Indian restaurant cuisine does not and will not have the zest and zip of the food found in Southern California. While the menu items have the same names, it’s tamer here. No matter what we add or do to take it up a notch and give it some real vitality, it never quite gets there. It’s fine, it’s good, but it remains less a delight than it should be.

That’s how my deeper, heavenly appetite is, too. Even though I like what I get by doing the Spirit-led things that fill me up—like reading and praying and singing and obeying and sharing—there are times I just want to go there. I want to be satisfied like that. I think I know at least something of how it will be, so I sometimes long for it. Life is sometimes really dissatisfying because I know how it could be—like Colorado Indian food.

And I think God is setting me up.

This morning I’m particularly glad that God is more determined to truly and deeply satisfy me than I am. Frankly, I might settle for less, but He won't let me.

Have you ever thought that the reason life is less satisfying the older you get is because it’s supposed to be? That God is really and actually sanctifying you as a heaven-belonging son or daughter of His? If, in fact, we’re spirit-born sons of God and seated in heavenly places already, it would appear, well, logical that God would prove it to us by getting us ready to come home—and to really enjoy it when we arrive. And maybe to recognize it. I suspect that when I cross over from this fleeting and temporal life to eternal life, I will utter a lot of ahhs, and oohs, and mmms, don’t you? I think my appetite for life is occasionally dissatisfied with what I can find in this world because it’s being prepared for a never-ending feast.

And I don’t think it will be entirely new delights served at the feast, but simply a lot more flavorful and satisfying…and more quantity—way more.

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Mt. 12:34)

How To Be Invisible

The following excerpt from an old favorite book (The Normal Christian Life) reminded me of a vital and practical Biblical truth in my life—“For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.” (Col 3:3,4)

Watchman Nee writes:
The object of temptation is always to get us to do something. During the first three months of the Japanese war in China we lost a great many tanks, and so were unable to deal with the Japanese armor, until the following scheme was devised. A single shot would be fired at a Japanese tank by one of our snipers in ambush. After a considerable lapse of time the first shot would be followed by a second; then after a further silence, by another shot; until the tank driver, eager to locate the source of the disturbance, would pop his head out to look around. The next shot, carefully aimed, would put an end to him.

As long as he remained under cover he was perfectly safe. The whole scheme was devised to bring him out into the open. In just the same way, Satan’s temptations are not designed primarily to make us do something particularly sinful, but merely to cause us to act in our own energy; and as soon as we step out of our hiding place to do something on that basis, he has gained the victory over us. But if we do not move, if we do not come out of the cover of Christ into the realm of the flesh, then he cannot get us.

The divine way of victory does not therefore permit our doing anything at all—anything, that is to say, outside of Christ. This is because as soon as we move we run into danger, for our natural inclinations carry us in the wrong direction. Where, then, are we to look for help? Turn now to Galatians 5:17: “The flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh.” This tells us where the real tussle takes place. The fight with the flesh is not ours but the Holy Spirit’s, “for these are contrary the one to the other,” and it is he, not we, who meets and deals with it. What is the result? “That ye may not do the things that ye would.”

I think we have often failed to grasp the full import of that last clause. Let us consider it for a moment. What “would we do” naturally? We would move off on some course of action dictated by our own instincts and apart from the will of God. The effect, therefore of our refusal to come out of cover and act out from ourselves is that the Holy Spirit is free to do his work—free, that is, to meet and deal with the flesh in us, so that in fact we do not do what we naturally would do. Instead of going off on a plan and course of our own, we find our satisfaction in his perfect plan. Hence the command is a positive one: “Walk by the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh” (Gal. 5:16). If we live in the Spirit, if we walk by faith in the risen Christ, we can truly “stand aside” while the Spirit gains new victories over the flesh every day. He has been given to us to take charge of this business. Our victory lies in hiding in Christ, and in counting in simple trust upon his Holy Spirit within us to overcome our fleshly lusts with his own new desires. The cross has been given to procure salvation for us; the Spirit has been given to produce salvation in us. Christ risen and ascended is the basis of our salvation; Christ in our hearts by the Spirit is its power.

(Watchman Nee, The Normal Christian Life; Tyndale)

A Life In Pictures

Sadly, yet triumphantly, my mother, Maryjane, passed on to be face to face, arm in arm with Jesus on Friday, June 20. I have posted a slide-show retrospective of her incredible life on our family web site, ralphandsarah.com.

If you would like to see it and have a fast internet connection (DSL or cable), we recommend you click In Memory of Maryjane Harris (high res). While it might take as much as 5-7 minutes to load, the quality is best. If your internet speed is slower or if you’re in a bit of a hurry, click on In Memory of Maryjane Harris (low res), which should load in about a minute. We think you will enjoy an expansive look at an amazing and godly woman.

Thank YOU

(Well, I've just returned home from California, and I'm a mixed bag of thoughts and emotions. . .and just a little bit exhausted. I spent about a week with my brothers and their families bidding farewell to my mother, and another week caring for my ailing dad. Perhaps the theme of my time might have been, "love in trauma." But that sounds too much like a country song. In any case, I'll be writing about it right here next week, as well as in the next LifeNote.
Until then, I'll be joining my three girls for several days of camping in the nearby Rockies. Frankly, I hope to catch my breath and stretch a little, and I can't think of many places I'd rather do that. Thanks for your love and care. -Ralph)



Recently I was thanking God for putting up with me, for forgiving me, for loving me, and for working with me in a tumultuous and difficult time. I was amazed with God and I said, "Thank you, Father," over and over again. When once I paused, this is what He said to me: "Thank you." What? Thank me? I asked. "Yes. Thank you for enduring. You believe, and it shows."

It was so good to hear. Has He ever conveyed anything like that to you?

He knows how difficult it all is, He knows the struggles you and I face and sometimes flounder in, He knows the awful thoughts and desires that plague us, sometimes bringing us under their control - He knows! And He loves us and never condemns us. In the midst of everything, He knows who we actually are - the ones born a second time, holy and blameless, perfect in righteousness, secure in Christ—so He knows how to handle us. And He knows how torturous life sometimes is. We're not at all of this world, and because we're not, He knows that we live these days in a torture chamber. That we approach Him during or after such awful stuff is a great sign to Him—we believe He's approachable! We believe He is Shepherd and not Dictator, Healer and not Breaker.

And He's thankful we endure, look to Him, get up again and go on.

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." (Heb 4:15-16 NIV)

Amongst ten million incredible things about God, His grace for us means that there is never a moment of condemnation from Him. God's grace never creates doubt or debt—His grace rescues and restores. That's how it is because that's how He is. And He's thankful that we believe Him.

We're better off than we think.

Ralph

Unprocessed & Undercooked

Frankly, I’m beat.

It has been a week of stunning and staggering news, scrambled chaos, sad greetings, funny moments and tearful goodbyes. And a whole lot of decision-making and hard work.

I didn’t take the college class, “How to bury your parents,” so I’m in the school of hard knocks. That’s probably good in that I’m forced to give all of my attention to what’s right in front of me—no prepared speeches, no template behavior, no long-practiced posturing. There are no veterans around here—only clumsy neophytes.

Everything I do or say feels unprocessed and undercooked. Organic never felt quite this raw.

The funeral for my mother was, well, wonderful. It was a deep and meaningful hour and a half, where many people poured forth their admiration and longing for my mother, while others sort of squirted-out their thoughts and feelings. “I, um, ah, don’t know exactly what to say or feel. I just loved. . .I just, um. . .well, you know—your mother.” We’d clasp hands or hug, and knowingly nod our heads in unison, like we couldn’t have said it any better.

My dad’s not doing well. Not only is he living with the trauma of the sudden and tragic loss of my mother, but also his health is a mess. In between routinely popping pills he removes from what looks like miniature candy bins, he has been blacking out, falling and hurting himself. We had the paramedics out this afternoon because we didn’t know if he’d had a stroke, or if he’d doubled-up on his sleep medication—which is what we found. My father was a zombie, and it unnerved us all.

No one here feels permitted to relax or stand down because the fight to make life okay seems to have just begun. Maybe it feels like we’re losing right now, and most of our forces just left the field. My three brothers (one who has been laid-up for the last couple of days with a terrible back problem) and their families left yesterday, so I’m not certain how the vacuum will feel today. Peaceful and easier to see what’s needed, or harassed and vulnerable?

I’ve found that my personal battle is to remember to sow toward the Spirit, instead of following the panicked pleadings of the flesh. It feels like I’m in one of those “life comes at you fast” commercials. If I don’t regularly pause and offer myself to God or think about Him or load an uplifting tune on my inner iPod, I get worn out. And Colorado feels so far away.

While this certainly seems hopeless, I’m not at all. It simply feels like I’m fighting a new battle with very old and inadequate weapons. I don’t have my footing yet. I’ll get there, but not yet.

Would you pray?