Sometimes I’m a victim of drive-by worry. I can be doing the simplest of things, like drinking coffee, or reading, or sleeping, or talking with someone, and whack, something to worry about pops right through the screen of my life and into my head.
I hate worry. Sometimes, that’s my problem – hating worry. If I think worry is bad, if I think worry is my problem (“Oh, no! Worry is here!”), I get focused on worry and begin devising plans to get rid of it. I become my own counselor when The Counselor is already in me, and I give Him nothing to do. Duh.
I do best when I ask a question like, “Well, Holy Spirit, what’s going on?”
And even if I don’t hear a thing (and that’s about a 50/50 chance), simply by directing my thoughts toward God, something begins to change in me. Even if I don’t know what’s bothering me, by giving my attention to Him, He begins to do something in me. And I remember that I am not my own assembly line, and I’m not supposed to produce something for the glory of God. I live by faith in Him and He does the glory thing. Inner turmoil means that He wants to do something, whatever that is.
And the whatever that is initially bugs me. What if I have to say something to someone which I’d rather not? What if He wants me to get out of bed and pray with Him for awhile?
But I think worry is simply a sign that my flesh is in conflict with the Spirit because He wants to do something in me and/or through me, and the flesh is putting up its usual resistance.
“For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please.”
(Gal 5:17 NAS)
I don’t think I’ll ever fully welcome worry, but I’m learning to turn to the Spirit when the drive-by happens.